Going Back and Saying Bye-bye!

Oh wow. Its been a while since I felt this depressed. I remembered when I got so down one day and that was when I was moving to another place away from my family. To a matriculation college. It is 2 hours drive from home and it is a boring place with no shopping malls and cinema. But that was better because I can still come home every weekend. But now? I am leaving MILES AWAY from my family. No more 2 hours drive. It is an 8 HOURS FLIGHT.

So it is only natural to feel so down whenever you are leaving your family behind. I am currently studying in Carnegie Mellon University so I am leaving tomorrow. The main campus is actually in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania but I am currently studying in the Qatar Campus. Google Qatar if you don’t know where it is. Why did I chose the Qatar branch? Because my mom is paranoid and feel that it is safer for me to study in Qatar rather than the states. She probably won’t let me spend a semester there! She will say:

“Full of crazy people! One day, one of their citizens will just buy a gun and openly shoot everyone in a gym or in a park or in the school or college! It is okay for you to die in my hands but not in some crazy maniac’s hands, young lady!”

Anyways, the reason why I feel so down today is because I am leaving to Qatar tomorrow. Away from my family for a whole year. I can only probably come back to Malaysia next year on my summer holiday. It really sucks to be away from your family. The one that you are closest to. I have to admit, I value my family more than I value my friends. Though I love my friends, my family always comes first. In a foreign country, I am always scared. What if I got sick and nobody is there to look for me? If I am sick here in Malaysia, I have my mom to take care of me and my grandma to nag me whenever I am not taking my medicines properly.

Studying overseas have its pros and cons. The pros: you get to meet new people and experience new environment. Widen your horizon. At the same time, getting a better education. Better than the kind of education offered by your own country. The cons: Away from family. Different culture. So many things that you are not used to even after a year of living there. THE FUCKING WEATHER! Oh, don’t let me start on the weather.

Anyways, I think I will be missing my mom the most since I am a big baby. My mom is my hero. One of the amazing woman that exist in my life. I will, one day, dedicate one of my blog post  to her and the reason why she is so amazing. Though she could be a bitch sometimes, she is the only woman who can beat my ass and beat me into a pulp without me beating her back. I love you mommy.

Packing was not the only thing that I need to do. I need to cut my hair (which I already did) and update my resume and lots of stuff that I don’t even want to mention. I think the old Ren Aysha is back. The mean one. Because I feel that I am getting meaner and meaner and less tolerant of things that I dislike each day. Or is it because I am feeling down? Or PMS-ing? I remembered the old me. Yes, she was a major bitch. Back when I was 15, 16, 17 years old. Need to wake up a bit early tomorrow. Fix some stuff and pack whatever I need to pack.

Anyways, here is my new hairdo. Not a very artistic picture. I was planning to make it more artistic but too bad the picture was too noisy. That is me and my late grandpa’s old SLR:

I used to have semi-long hair and a bit curly at the bottom but I have to chopped it off because I know that the Doha weather won’t be kind to me and my hair. Better cut it off rather than have it damage permanently. Shorter hair is easier to manage. I’ll grow it back once I am working in Malaysia or Singapore or somewhere where the weather is tolerable. This was how I look like before. That is me and one of my dear friend, Cerra! God I missed the girl! Its been a while! You can stalk her here.

Anyways, I’ll be flying my ass off tomorrow. On a lighter note though, I get to meet some of my closest friends that I missed so much. Here is a fun poll for you.